Monday, July 20, 2009

Journey Down the Sidewalk of Weight loss

I don't know if any of you are familiar with this "Autobiography in Five Chapters", but I think it really describes my struggles with losing weight well.

Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost....I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in...it's a habit...but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it.

Chapter Five
I walk down another street.

I think I'm stuck somewhere around chapter three. I keep falling into the same bad holes. I see them, but I'm just so used to them. I know it's my fault, and (if the mood strikes me) I get out immediately. I'm looking forward to moving on to chapter four.

I had a breakthrough realization this weekend. I have been punishing my body because it's not working the way I want it to. After this realization, I said to myself (almost out loud) HOW CAN YOU EXPECT YOUR BODY TO WORK THE WAY YOU WANT IT TO IF YOU'RE NOT TREATING IT RIGHT?! You can't expect a high performance machine to operate at its best if you don't fuel it right, can you?

I think maybe I need to focus less on weight and more on how I feel. Or maybe only weigh myself once a month or so. I tend to get hyper-focused on numbers, which is why Weight Watchers was successful for me the first time I tried it, IT'S ALL NUMBERS! But I tend to obsess a little if I'm not careful, so I think I'm going to back off a little. Maybe even on low-glycemic, just focus on eating healthier, even if it isn't the perfect low GI meal. Plus I think I'll feel a lot less guilty just eating better rather than eating low GI - it's so easy to slip with that type of eating. I feel like if I allow myself more stuff that's "not allowed" I'll be happier over all.

Because, as much as I'd like to lose 30 pounds, it ultimately boils down to being healthy. Being able to exercise without injuring myself, being able to go up and down stairs without feeling winded. Just being happier in my own skin.

1 comment:

  1. I *love* that, I need to steal it! I think I actually am in Chapters 3 through 5 at times! I'm glad I've made it to 5 and experienced it but it's a lot of work to stay there.

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