Do over!

So, I've reset my ticker because I am starting over.

I haven't been to a Weight Watchers meeting in almost a month. So I joined WW online today. I've done it in the past and it's MUCH easier for me to keep track if I do it online. So my weight kind of "restarted" because it wouldn't be fair to count first-thing-in-the-morning naked weight versus having-eaten-all-day fully clothed weight.

And you'll see my goal has changed a little.

I would really really like to see the 120s, just once, even if I can't maintain it. Ultimately I think I'm going to settle around 135, most likely, but just once I'd like to see 129, so I decided to make that my goal. It's well within the healthy range for my height, but of course I'll re-evaluate all along the way to see how I look and feel.

So what prompted this? I did laundry last night and the simple act of carrying a small basket of laundry up the stairs left me wheezing and gasping for air. THAT HAS GOT TO STOP. I need to get into better shape. I had planned on walking to work today, but in typical me fashion, I overslept. I am going to go on a nice long walk this evening after work though. Nice and slow to protect my hip. Which I never mentioned, but my hip is getting worse. Because I haven't been doing the work. No walking, no stretching, and my chiro's office shut down. So I'm going to have to DO THE WORK for this to happen. And I hate that. I really do. I was naturally thin for so long because I was super active, had a lightning fast metabolism, and was a picky eater. Then I realized that food was really good and stopped doing so many extracurriculars and BOOM - the weight came on. I'm pretty sure that the summer between my sophomore and junior years of high school I gained at least 30 pounds.

Hopefully tracking online will motivate me to keep up with it better. Here's hoping!

Putting it all out there

The last month or so has been a complete and total trainwreck for me. I've regained about 1/4 of all the weight I lost. I have had no desire to do anything good for myself.

THAT STOPS TODAY.

Today is the official start of OPERATION: DO IT.

I'll let you guys in on a couple secrets (hence the putting it all out there).

I suffer from a condition known as endometriosis. This was found during a surgery I had last year to remove a cyst (that turned out to be caused by the endometriosis). I consider myself VERY lucky that I don't suffer much in the way of pain. However - I have been in constant treatment for this disease for the last year. Today marks ONE MONTH of treatment left. I have ONE MORE MONTH and then I get to live somewhat normally. Now, treatment isn't horrific or anything, I'm just relieved to be almost done!

I also suffer from a much more well known condition - depression. It gets a lot worse around this time of year with the change in the weather. This is part of the reason that I have had ZERO motivation lately. I feel drained of all my energy almost all the time as it is, so it's so hard to find the energy to do the right thing for myself.

I am BACK ON THE WAGON as far as Weight Watchers goes and I'm going to start a Seinfeldian Chain as far as working out is concerned today. I am going to walk a mile every day. And I'm going to mark it on my calendar and try really hard not to let the chain break.

I have felt more capable and in control the last couple of weeks than I have since Summer probably.

And sometime soon I am either going to get a small point and shoot camera or I'm going to start carrying the Power Shot with me and photographing my food.

Hooray for motivation!

A month?

So it's been about a month.

Things...are.

I think that best sums it up.

I've gained back a little of the weight and have had absolutely no motivation to eat healthy or move in the last month.

I could give a list of excuses, but the fact is, I've just plain out lost my motivation. And I don't know how to get it back.