Oh boy

I think today has been the hardest day so far. I woke up this morning just not feeling well and really wanted to lazy out on low GI eating today. By the way, I definitely don't mean that as an insult to any person who "slips" in their chosen way of being healthy, whether that means exercise or healthy eating - I just know that when I do it, it's out of sheer laziness, so I call it lazy out.

So, another slightly embarrassing thing about me - I'm practically an old lady in my sleeping habits. I like to go to bed EARLY. We're talking 9:30/10:00. Well this whole week that's been the time I'm getting out of rehearsal so I have a 40 minute drive after that, then I need about another 45 minutes to unwind before I can go to sleep. This means I have not been getting NEARLY as much sleep as I comfortably need to function well. I like to get at least 8, preferably 9 hours of sleep a night. I blame it on my hypothyroidism.

So, I'm getting maybe 6-7 hours a night (if I'm lucky) and I'm SO exhausted in the mornings. Combine that with just generally not feeling very good this morning (slight yucky stomach) and I just thought, "Man, it'd be so much easier to go out to eat for breakfast and have eggs and toast and bacon and homefries," and then I thought "Man, it'd be even easier to just skip breakfast all together!"

But I didn't! I made my scrambled eggs with spinach, arugula, and portobella mushrooms and I added a little ham and some cheese. And I cut and peeled my cucumber (last one, uh oh!), and I had my big glass of milk.

And then lunch time came. And I went to a local restaurant here with my BFF and office mate Liz. She got a cheeseburger and fries. And I thought "Man does that sound good. And easy." But I got baked tilapia instead. The veggie choices weren't great (in hindsight I realize I should have also got a salad with my meal) so I had green beans and sweet potato casserole. I passed on the bread (which I love) and got water to drink instead of sweet tea (which I also love).

I hope I never give anyone the impression that this is totally a walk in the park for me, because it isn't. IT'S HARD. Every single morning when I wake up I have to rededicate myself to doing this. Because let me tell you what, I LOVE JUNK FOOD. I love FAST FOOD, I love sweets, carbs, pasta, potatoes, white bread, white rice with tons of butter and sugar on it. I don't think these foods are awful and horrible and if you eat them ever ever you should be ashamed of yourself. I think they're like everything - fine in moderation. I just know myself. I know that I don't really know how to say no (wow a lot of no/know in that sentence) to those kinds of foods. They are trigger foods for me and if I start eating them, I won't stop. I'm looking forward to getting to a place where I can have one slice of a pizza instead of the whole thing. Or a small piece of chocolate instead of a couple of candy bars. Where I can start eating fast food again occasionally as a treat without it overtaking everything I've accomplished.